Okay, this time I'm
not lying. I suddenly
have more time to waste.


(TIME: 1")

My haiku-less streak
is broken, like that mountain
with the back problems.



(TIME: 1')

They used to make Coke

Using actual cocaine

GAH! FUCK! IT'S EMPTY!

"HULK SMASH PUNY BOSS"
The thought bubble in my
meeting doodle says

Shit, I went through a
whole week without posting. No
credibility.



(TIME: 1')

"Hey, your shoe's untied,"
I say, as I steal your yummy,
hot, toaster pastry.




(TIME: 1')

Laqured lanes calling
for polished pearls, the sweetness
of rolling perfect.



(TIME: 2')

Catching leprechauns
lucky? Yeah, right. They're at crotch
level and they bite.


(TIME: 1' 23")

Hitler survived. His
new fiendish plan is to give
me parking tickets.



(TIME: 1')

"The spiders, spiders
everywhere! Get them off!"-- based
on real life events.




(TIME: 1')

Whistling through wheat
fields, taste a box clam dinner—
mmm, hungry for pie.


(TIME: 1')

That chambered dwelling,
my suburban brood cave, my
basement apartment.



(TIME: 1')

The surface of things–
buffed, polished, waxed, slick to touch—
my achilles heel.



(TIME: 1'10")

Midnight strikes a pose;
spy a distant full moon-- wait,
where are your moms pants?




(TIME: 2'20")

My body is a
battleground, invaded, bombed;
curse General Tso!




(TIME: 1'20")

Oscar the idol:
your untainted pureness is
behind my broke back.



(TIME: 2')

Arrr, pirates be neat.
My poop deck needs swabbing, bring
yer peg leg, matey.


(TIME: 1')

Oh, gin martinis
and sake laced with roofies,
my liver thanks you.



(TIME: 30")

Fat, Ash, now Thursday;
a lean, clean, moderate day,
shitting on our fun.



(TIME: 2'34")

Ash Wednesday lacks fun.
Instead, I propose something
better: Ass Wednesday.



(TIME: 2')